SON OF A BITCH...

mais um texto incompleto e totalmente sem estrutura, mas cheio de significado... será?

I have no decency
I think and think and think and I think
God! What if her husband finds out about us?
Will You save me?
if he shoots, pointing straight at my heart,
would You spare me?
help me dodge the bullet
or
stop it right before it reaches my chest?
I'm immoral
asking God for mercy...

Sometimes I get sick
sometimes I just get tired
of being me
Baby, you've got to update your thoughts on me
No,
I did not lie to you
You just choose to believe I was a nice guy
the kind of guy it's worth falling in love with
the kind of guy who's worth the risk
maybe it was something I said
early in our relationship
back to when we met
perhaps the words
"trust me, I'm a nice guy"
popped outta my mouth
but it's a mistery to me
I thought you'd get the irony
I thought you'd see
but ok,
maybe it's my fault
I might have misled you
with all that nonsense
about love at first sight,
and finding your soulmate
that kind of fantasy
but I really thought you were just going along with the joke
playing me
but ok
let's not make a big thing out of this
so you bought the whole "I wanna run away with you" fantasia
let's work it out
could you handle the awful thruth?

I'm a mess
but still, I'll try to get by with the fact you're a genuinely thoroughbred good girl,
family values,
do-good-to-others-without-expecting-anything-in-exchange type of person...
Great!
Now, can you deal with the fact that I'm a:
just-wanna-have-fun,
was-in-a-meeting-that-went-through-the-whole-night-and-all-the-phone-lines-went-dead-and-my-cell-phone-ran-out-of-battery kinda guy,
the I-love-you,-but-that's-that,-and-this-is-who-I-am,-and-you-can't-change-me,-so-don't-even-try-it man?

God! Is my soul gone for good?